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150 Funny Tweets That Perfectly Describe Scottish People

They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation’s finest export. I know, you think it’s scotch, but scroll through this list and then we’ll talk.

The subreddit r/ScottishPeopleTwitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I’ve been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and “Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda” and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.

#1

Clever Cat

Clever Cat

reddit.com

#2

Wholesome

Wholesome

reddit.com

#3

Mask Up, Ya Bams

Mask Up, Ya Bams

reddit.com

#4

Xmas Miracle

Xmas Miracle

reddit.com

#5

We All Need A Little Confidence Boost

We All Need A Little Confidence Boost

reddit.com

#6

He’s Been Well Done There

He's Been Well Done There

reddit.com

#7

What Freedom Is Aw Aboot

What Freedom Is Aw Aboot

reddit.com

#8

What Windows?

What Windows?

reddit.com

#9

Our Currency Is The Best!

Our Currency Is The Best!

reddit.com

#10

Life, Eh, Finds A Way

Life, Eh, Finds A Way

reddit.com

#11

Our Government

Our Government

reddit.com

#12

A Record To Be Proud Of

A Record To Be Proud Of

reddit.com

#13

Scottish Clothes Shops

Scottish Clothes Shops

reddit.com

#14

Genitals!

Genitals!

reddit.com

#15

We Love Arbroath

We Love Arbroath

reddit.com

#16

On The Bus

On The Bus

reddit.com

#17

Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?

Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?

reddit.com

#18

Well That’s Us Screwed

Well That’s Us Screwed

reddit.com

#19

It’s That Easy

It's That Easy

reddit.com

#20

Dilf Hunter

Dilf Hunter

reddit.com

#21

Quick Take On The Scottish Play

Quick Take On The Scottish Play

reddit.com

#22

Mad Stoater

Mad Stoater

reddit.com

#23

Vegan Scottish Cuisine

Vegan Scottish Cuisine

reddit.com

#24

Maccies

Maccies

reddit.com

#25

Fair Enough

Fair Enough

reddit.com

#26

Hunner Percent

Hunner Percent

reddit.com

#27

Pizza Time

Pizza Time

reddit.com

#28

Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes

Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes

reddit.com

#29

And One For Yourself Bartender

And One For Yourself Bartender

reddit.com

#30

Very Fair Point

Very Fair Point

reddit.com

#31

Goths Are A Dying Breed

Goths Are A Dying Breed

reddit.com

#32

Shavin A Tattie

Shavin A Tattie

reddit.com

#33

Absolute Fact

Absolute Fact

reddit.com

#34

Half Pizza Crunch Supper

Half Pizza Crunch Supper

reddit.com

#35

Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots

Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots

reddit.com

#36

Hotland

Hotland

reddit.com

#37

Good Luck At School Today

Good Luck At School Today

reddit.com

#38

Stating The Obvious

Stating The Obvious

reddit.com

#39

Fs John, Too Soon

Fs John, Too Soon

reddit.com

#40

True Happiness

True Happiness

reddit.com

#41

Yer Da Does The Washing

Yer Da Does The Washing

reddit.com

#42

Da-Da-Da-Da!

Da-Da-Da-Da!

reddit.com

#43

Platinum Next X

Platinum Next X

reddit.com

#44

Absolutely Out Of It

Absolutely Out Of It

reddit.com

#45

Ye Nugget

Ye Nugget

reddit.com

#46

Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland

Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland

reddit.com

#47

Something Not Right About That Soap

Something Not Right About That Soap

reddit.com

#48

Too Right

Too Right

reddit.com

#49

London 1993

London 1993

reddit.com

#50

Good Tae Know

Good Tae Know

reddit.com

#51

Eloquently Put

Eloquently Put

reddit.com

#52

Who’s The Lucky Girl?

Who's The Lucky Girl?

reddit.com

#53

Sex Is Sacred

Sex Is Sacred

reddit.com

#54

Frankie Doesn’t Care

Frankie Doesn't Care

reddit.com

#55

Wean’s First Tooth

Wean's First Tooth

reddit.com

#56

He’s Gonna Go Far

He’s Gonna Go Far

reddit.com

#57

Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately

Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately

reddit.com

#58

Another Breed Of Spastic

Another Breed Of Spastic

reddit.com

#59

A Massive Lad

A Massive Lad

imgur.com

#60

Screw The Tories

Screw The Tories

reddit.com

#61

Double Scottish

Double Scottish

reddit.com

#62

Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine

Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine

reddit.com

#63

Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere

Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere

reddit.com

#64

Just To Be Safe…

Just To Be Safe...

reddit.com

#65

Big Note

Big Note

reddit.com

#66

Shame

Shame

reddit.com

#67

Scottish Panda

Scottish Panda

reddit.com

#68

Lightning Lizzie

Lightning Lizzie

reddit.com

#69

We Used To Be Accountants Really

We Used To Be Accountants Really

reddit.com

#70

Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem

Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem

reddit.com

#71

Absolute Genius

Absolute Genius

reddit.com

#72

Suns Oot Mirrors Oot

Suns Oot Mirrors Oot

reddit.com

#73

At Least They Voted!

At Least They Voted!

reddit.com

#74

Aye Just A Wee Side Note

Aye Just A Wee Side Note

reddit.com

#75

Nevermind X

Nevermind X

reddit.com

#76

A Junkie’s Wisdom

A Junkie's Wisdom

reddit.com

#77

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish

reddit.com

#78

Didnae Get Far Did Ye

Didnae Get Far Did Ye

reddit.com

#79

I Think Frankie’s Onto Something

I Think Frankie’s Onto Something

reddit.com

#80

Cheers Gran

Cheers Gran

reddit.com

#81

Merry Christmas Everyone

Merry Christmas Everyone

reddit.com

#82

All Those Hypotheticals

All Those Hypotheticals

reddit.com

#83

Where Are You From?

Where Are You From?

reddit.com

#84

Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles

Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles

reddit.com

#85

Outstanding Patter

Outstanding Patter

reddit.com

#86

Exam Advice

Exam Advice

reddit.com

#87

Gotta Love Scottish Patter

Gotta Love Scottish Patter

reddit.com

#88

These Flowers Are A Mystery

These Flowers Are A Mystery

imgur.com

#89

Aye

Aye

reddit.com

#90

Clean Up On Aisle 4

Clean Up On Aisle 4

reddit.com

#91

Manbat

Manbat

reddit.com

#92

Worky Dug

Worky Dug

reddit.com

#93

Proud As Punch

Proud As Punch

reddit.com

#94

Ye Ma Takes Length

Ye Ma Takes Length

reddit.com

#95

8 Year Olds…

8 Year Olds...

reddit.com

#96

Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair

Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair

reddit.com

#97

Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)

Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)

reddit.com

#98

In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece

In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece

reddit.com

#99

10/10

10/10

reddit.com

#100

Absolute Unit

Absolute Unit

reddit.com

#101

Wouldn’t Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger

reddit.com

#102

‘Hink That’s Fair Enough

‘Hink That’s Fair Enough

reddit.com

#103

Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo

Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo

imgur.com

#104

Two Faced C**ts

Two Faced C**ts

reddit.com

#105

Good Thinking Wee Man

Good Thinking Wee Man

reddit.com

#106

Absolute Roaster

Absolute Roaster

reddit.com

#107

You Still There?

You Still There?

reddit.com

#108

Brick That Thing

Brick That Thing

reddit.com

#109

I Remember My First Bus Journey

I Remember My First Bus Journey

reddit.com

#110

Uncle Dug

Uncle Dug

reddit.com

#111

Glasgoths

Glasgoths

reddit.com

#112

Who The Hell You Talkin Tae

Who The Hell You Talkin Tae

reddit.com

#113

It’s Tradition

It’s Tradition

reddit.com

#114

The Force Is Strong In This Wan

The Force Is Strong In This Wan

reddit.com

#115

Being A Dad Has Its Perks

Being A Dad Has Its Perks

reddit.com

#116

Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid

Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid

reddit.com

#117

It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left

It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left

reddit.com

#118

Sounds More Like The 30!

Sounds More Like The 30!

reddit.com

#119

Speeding Ostrich

Speeding Ostrich

reddit.com

#120

Honesty’s The Best Policy

Honesty's The Best Policy

reddit.com

#121

Constant Struggle

Constant Struggle

reddit.com

#122

Gonnae No Call Me That

Gonnae No Call Me That

reddit.com

#123

Beautiful

Beautiful

reddit.com

#124

Sair Heid?

Sair Heid?

reddit.com

#125

Just Subbed Tae Isis

Just Subbed Tae Isis

reddit.com

#126

Thats No Hapnin

Thats No Hapnin

reddit.com

#127

Ya Tube

Ya Tube

reddit.com

#128

Guys Dont Use Tinder It’s Crap

Guys Dont Use Tinder It's Crap

reddit.com

#129

Busted

Busted

reddit.com

#130

Old But Gold

Old But Gold

reddit.com

#131

Fishsticks

Fishsticks

reddit.com

#132

She Was Lucky

She Was Lucky

reddit.com

#133

Security To Get A Munch

Security To Get A Munch

reddit.com

#134

A Wee Fanny

A Wee Fanny

reddit.com

#135

This Is Madness

This Is Madness

imgur.com

#136

Expectations vs. Reality

Expectations vs. Reality

reddit.com

#137

Pretending Aye?

Pretending Aye?

reddit.com

#138

Best. Dad. Ever

Best. Dad. Ever

reddit.com

#139

Dexter The Dug

Dexter The Dug

reddit.com

#140

Solid Plan

Solid Plan

reddit.com

#141

My Wee Angle

My Wee Angle

reddit.com

#142

Papa Can You Hear Me?

Papa Can You Hear Me?

reddit.com

#143

Smirnoff Ice

Smirnoff Ice

reddit.com

#144

Life Must Be Good Being A Dug

Life Must Be Good Being A Dug

reddit.com

#145

Meanwhile In Edinburgh…

Meanwhile In Edinburgh...

reddit.com

#146

Some Good Financial News!

Some Good Financial News!

reddit.com

#147

You’ll Pay Him For It N All

You’ll Pay Him For It N All

reddit.com

#148

“Av Not Got Dementia”

"Av Not Got Dementia"

reddit.com

#149

The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men

The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men

reddit.com

#150

Happy Birthday To Big J

Happy Birthday To Big J

reddit.com

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