They say Scotland is a land of immeasurable beauty, inspiring history, and immense wit. To get a glimpse of the first two, you can watch Braveheart. But to experience the third, you can simply go on Twitter—some people even say Scottish Twitter is arguably the nation’s finest export. I know, you think it’s scotch, but scroll through this list and then we’ll talk.
The subreddit r/ScottishPeopleTwitter has been making headlines online since its creation in 2015. It started by collecting tweets like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I’ve been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and “Can live wi paying 5p for one but am sick of having to f**in light the beacons of Gondor to summon someone anytime I want a bag in Asda” and quickly grew into a 700K-member community, enjoying a good laugh when they see one.
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Clever Cat
Wholesome
Mask Up, Ya Bams
Xmas Miracle
We All Need A Little Confidence Boost
He’s Been Well Done There
What Freedom Is Aw Aboot
What Windows?
Our Currency Is The Best!
Life, Eh, Finds A Way
Our Government
A Record To Be Proud Of
Scottish Clothes Shops
Genitals!
We Love Arbroath
On The Bus
Ye Goin For A S***e Hen?
Well That’s Us Screwed
It’s That Easy
Dilf Hunter
Quick Take On The Scottish Play
Mad Stoater
Vegan Scottish Cuisine
Maccies
Fair Enough
Hunner Percent
Pizza Time
Can’t Beat A Fathers Jokes
And One For Yourself Bartender
Very Fair Point
Goths Are A Dying Breed
Shavin A Tattie
Absolute Fact
Half Pizza Crunch Supper
Aye, Ye Pair Ay Bampots
Hotland
Good Luck At School Today
Stating The Obvious
Fs John, Too Soon
True Happiness
Yer Da Does The Washing
Da-Da-Da-Da!
Platinum Next X
Absolutely Out Of It
Ye Nugget
Coronavirus Arrives In Scotland
Something Not Right About That Soap
Too Right
London 1993
Good Tae Know
Eloquently Put
Who’s The Lucky Girl?
Sex Is Sacred
Frankie Doesn’t Care
Wean’s First Tooth
He’s Gonna Go Far
Yer No Meant To Eat The Parts Separately
Another Breed Of Spastic
A Massive Lad
Screw The Tories
Double Scottish
Birds Could Prolly Swim In Lava And Be Fine
Ye Gotta Draw The Line Mumwhere
Just To Be Safe…
Big Note
Shame
Scottish Panda
Lightning Lizzie
We Used To Be Accountants Really
Too *old* Tae Vote, That’s Yer Problem
Absolute Genius
Suns Oot Mirrors Oot
At Least They Voted!
Aye Just A Wee Side Note
Nevermind X
A Junkie’s Wisdom
Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
Didnae Get Far Did Ye
I Think Frankie’s Onto Something
Cheers Gran
Merry Christmas Everyone
All Those Hypotheticals
Where Are You From?
Local Bouncer / Door Steward In Ma Town Making The Best Of A Bad Situation By Providing The Giggles
Outstanding Patter
Exam Advice
Gotta Love Scottish Patter
These Flowers Are A Mystery
Aye
Clean Up On Aisle 4
Manbat
Worky Dug
Proud As Punch
Ye Ma Takes Length
8 Year Olds…
Would Be An Absolutely Class Idea To Be Fair
Scottish Schools Are Where Girls Get Pregnant And Where Boys Go To Sell Drugs (I Should Know I Went To Armadale Academy)
In Case Someone Forgot This Masterpiece
10/10
Absolute Unit
Wouldn’t Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
‘Hink That’s Fair Enough
Oompa Loompa, Do-Ba-Dee-Doo
Two Faced C**ts
Good Thinking Wee Man
Absolute Roaster
You Still There?
Brick That Thing
I Remember My First Bus Journey
Uncle Dug
Glasgoths
Who The Hell You Talkin Tae
It’s Tradition
The Force Is Strong In This Wan
Being A Dad Has Its Perks
Too Wee, Too Poor, Too Stupid
It Honestly Is Ridiculous How Long They Left
Sounds More Like The 30!
Speeding Ostrich
Honesty’s The Best Policy
Constant Struggle
Gonnae No Call Me That
Beautiful
Sair Heid?
Just Subbed Tae Isis
Thats No Hapnin
Ya Tube
Guys Dont Use Tinder It’s Crap
Busted
Old But Gold
Fishsticks
She Was Lucky
Security To Get A Munch
A Wee Fanny
This Is Madness
Expectations vs. Reality
Pretending Aye?
Best. Dad. Ever
Dexter The Dug
Solid Plan
My Wee Angle
Papa Can You Hear Me?
Smirnoff Ice
Life Must Be Good Being A Dug
Meanwhile In Edinburgh…
Some Good Financial News!
You’ll Pay Him For It N All
“Av Not Got Dementia”
The Rare, Understandable Scottish Men
Happy Birthday To Big J
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